I'm not going to lie. It's tempting. In the last month, I've had two different jobs presented to me. Both would be part-time, doing things I would LOVE to do, and making a little extra money. Not to mention, letting someone else change the diapers, referee the disagreements, and clean the bibs a couple days a week would really be nice.
There are families out there who can do this so well. Their kids respond well to someone else's authority and transition back to being with Mom and Dad seamlessly. Parents that have found these family partners to help them raise their children are blessed indeed, especially when there is a need for both parents to work outside the home.
Here's where I struggle. I don't think I could give up prime time. At least one of the jobs required hours from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. when my children are the most rested and insanely curious. Right now, my big boy is out in the sandbox excavating for a new sand city. My little boy is looking through all the books on a shelf and pointing out all the things that he recognizes. Today prime time is pretty peaceful, but many days these are the hours when character is shaped and lines are drawn in the sand. This is the time when conflict resolution must be taught, when grace must be given, when memories are being made in our family. This is the time when I can see that my sons are being raised into men. I'm not simply tolerating my children in my home. I'm having the invaluable opportunity to shape who they will become as adults.
As a list gal, it would be awesome to go to an adult atmosphere for a few hours a week and just get things done. As silly as it sounds, I would happy to file papers for a couple of hours, manage tasks, and actually finish something; but if I leave my post right now for any reason other than financial necessity, I know I'll be allowing someone else to raise my boys. Maybe they would do a better job. Maybe they wouldn't be impatient or sleepy. Maybe they would have fun new ideas for every day. Maybe they would speak the grace speech I lack. But I can't escape the reality that the Lord has place these children in this home with these parents for this season. Intentionally. Completely intentionally. So how can I invest less in them? And if we have food and clothing, how can we be discontent?
This is a season where the days are long but the years are short. So I'm making this choice once again: to raise my kids, to stay home not just physically but mentally, to not find my satisfaction in checking off a list or in receiving a paycheck, to see the incredible worth in these blessings the Lord has given me.