Friday, November 20, 2015


When David woke me up this morning, I almost went right back to sleep.  It felt like the weekend, like a vacation.  Ben has "school" at the center today, but my amazing dad is driving him.  Oh. my. lands.  I took a deep breath, put my comfy pants on after my shower, and jumped into a busy day with a slower speed.

There's still life that needs to be done around here.  Laundry for six people (with two potty training... keepin' that bodily fluids load as a daily necessity), GF-DF-EF meals that need to be made at home, homework, dishes, and ..... da da-da daaaaaa.... bathrooms.  Yep.  I've never been more thankful for the time to clean my bathrooms.  I was smiling.  You know you're going crazy when...

A few updates: your prayers are being answered.  Keep 'em coming.  It's hard to know how much private information to share about our children.  I want them to be able to share their own stories one day without having been exposed by their outspoken mother, but I do feel comfortable sharing this.  Two of my children had huge victories yesterday.  One child had a spiritual breakthrough so huge that David and I were crying in the kitchen after the children had all gone to bed.  And Ben... well, all I can say is that he had a physical victory that has been THREE YEARS in the waiting.  If there had been a football nearby I would've spiked it.  This momma was dancing.... and I'm a Baptist so it was pretty unfamiliar territory, but it was definitely dancing.

Today Ben has been tired, cranky, and more than a little unmanageable.  I've caught him several times with a blanket in his hand, lying on the floor half-asleep.  Understandably, he's exhausted.  This is really our first week of coaching sessions, exercises, and new diet; but yesterday both David and I felt like we were seeing a new child, a happier, gentler child who can be reasoned with.  Between yesterday's behavior and huge victory, I'm encouraged.  And we'll keep fighting another day.

Someone said something to me yesterday that has reminded me to be thankful ever since.  At least this is not leukemia.  It's not cancer.  To families who are in that awful boat, you have my heartfelt prayers that you will not be there long.  I can only imagine what your days and nights are like.  We're not fighting an enemy that is fighting for Ben's life. We're just fighting to help Ben find his best life.  We're choosing to adopt this new lifestyle and schedule, but we even have the privilege of knowing when we'll be done (6 sessions down, 66 to go).

Your texts, calls, emails, and surprise groceries remind me that God doesn't call us to do hard things on our own.  He surrounds us with prayer warriors and the hands and feet of the Body of Christ.  I told someone yesterday, I should be wiped out, and I'm just not.  I feel a strength running through me that is just not my own, and once again I wonder how anyone does it without Jesus because this girl sure can't.

For today though, my job is to play Candyland and to listen to my little girl's heart.  It's to snuggle that baby and encourage her to coordinate that crawl (she is so close!!!).  It's to be here to greet my big boys as each of them come back from their schools.  And I'm grateful that for today the bar was lowered and the speed was turned down on the treadmill that I've called my life.

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