I impulse bought some decorative letters from Dayspring a couple months ago. They were an amazing price, and I loved the message behind them. REDEEMED. It's what I am. What Teacher man is. What our family is. We are redeemed at a great price from our bondage to sin and death. We are redeemed to be the children of God. We are a mess. But we are of great value to God. So He chose to redeem us. Amen.
The letters still sit in the box, waiting for us to be able to hang them in our new home. I had no idea how much those words were going to mean across the entry to our home until today. This is the first time in a long time that I have hit rock bottom. It feels as if we are being attacked from every side, but for whatever reason I remembered those letters as I was trying to process all that's going on.
We are finding out one horrible thing after another about our new home. A giant cement pad under the tile that should NOT be there. Damaged drywall. Incorrect plumbing. Overbooked contractors. Extra costs. I find myself just waiting in discouragement for what they will find next. How will this be redeemed?
Two relationships in my life right now are just broken. Painfully broken. How will this be redeemed?
Our two-day vacation this week was riddled with miscommunication and plagued by issues with the house via my cell phone. What was supposed to be a pleasant trip together as a family ended up having far too many low points to be relaxing. How will this be redeemed?
Our home is in bits and boxes. For those of you who know me well, you know that disorder drives me bananas. Better bring on the monkeys because nothing is where it normally is, and it won't be for a long time. How will this be redeemed?
The van's brake system warning light just went on right before we were supposed to go on vacation. My amazing mom came to the rescue and offered to let us take their vehicle, but I sit here and wonder what the mechanics will find when they inspect the brakes to the only vehicle in our family that can hold our whole family. How will this be redeemed?
Right now, I am clinging to my hope in Christ by my fingernails. Clinging to the truth of God's love for me, His hand in my life. Desperately wanting to know how He will redeem each of these situations. It seems like a horrible mess, like a nightmare really. Unfortunately, I know I don't get to just wake up out of this one, nor will this story of redemption have a quick, happy ending.
I told a friend today that it feels like the pillars that I lean on most often are being kicked out from under me. Family. Friends. Finances. The only One left is the Rock on which I should have been wholly standing from the beginning. My hope and my joy are surviving only because I know that He is in control. He will work all things together for the good of His Kingdom because He is in the business of redemption. Redeeming the messy. The broken. The hurt. The ugly things of this world. Redeeming them to bring about beauty, to refine me, and to remind us of what is truly eternal.
My response to the truth of His promise means that my hammer and nails are ready. We will not be broken. Our home, our lives, these hurts will be redeemed. And that word will proclaim our faith in His power of all circumstances will hang over the entrance to our home. We have been and all these momentary troubles will be REDEEMED.